Vikings — Norse descendants might take a dim view of portraying Vikings as savages pillaging villages and stealing the spoils.
Vandals — Law enforcement could be upset that thieves are being cheered. What next, the Fargo Felons? The Muncie Murderers?
Cowboys — Let's see, cowboys shot Indians, sooooo … Women are upset too — what about cowgirls? School board suggests new name: Dallas Cowpersons.
Fighting Irish — Irish could be upset about the portrayal of them as intemperate brawlers.
Celtics — The Celts might take offense for being represented by a mascot who looks like he escaped from a box of Lucky Charms.
Angels — Religious overtones; we can't have that.
Sun Devils/Red Devils/Blue Devils — Satanic worship?
Yankees/Runnin' Rebels — What are we trying to do, incite another Civil War?
Bulldogs — Do we really want the lady's team being referred to as dogs?
Indians — Right, and their cross-town rivals are the Caucasians?
Giants — What, and risk offending the vertically challenged?
Chargers — On second thought, the board decides it shouldn't glorify people who habitually ring up debt on their credit card? Or perhaps it could be perceived as some sort of swipe — pardon the pun — against them?
The Charger "is entirely appropriate," said Canyons board member Paul McCarty. "The horse has been a prominent animal in Draper."
So has the cougar — the cat, that is, not the woman.
Doug Robinson is a long-time coach at Alta High School in the Canyons School District.