Doug Robinson: 'Cougars' is offensive? Who knew?

Vikings — Norse descendants might take a dim view of portraying Vikings as savages pillaging villages and stealing the spoils.

Vandals — Law enforcement could be upset that thieves are being cheered. What next, the Fargo Felons? The Muncie Murderers?

Cowboys — Let's see, cowboys shot Indians, sooooo … Women are upset too — what about cowgirls? School board suggests new name: Dallas Cowpersons.

Fighting Irish — Irish could be upset about the portrayal of them as intemperate brawlers.

Celtics — The Celts might take offense for being represented by a mascot who looks like he escaped from a box of Lucky Charms.

Angels — Religious overtones; we can't have that.

Sun Devils/Red Devils/Blue Devils — Satanic worship?

Yankees/Runnin' Rebels — What are we trying to do, incite another Civil War?

Bulldogs — Do we really want the lady's team being referred to as dogs?

Indians — Right, and their cross-town rivals are the Caucasians?

Giants — What, and risk offending the vertically challenged?

Chargers — On second thought, the board decides it shouldn't glorify people who habitually ring up debt on their credit card? Or perhaps it could be perceived as some sort of swipe — pardon the pun — against them?

The Charger "is entirely appropriate," said Canyons board member Paul McCarty. "The horse has been a prominent animal in Draper."

So has the cougar — the cat, that is, not the woman.

Doug Robinson is a long-time coach at Alta High School in the Canyons School District.

Email: drob@desnews.com