'Cougars' is offensive? Who knew?

DRAPER — Uh-oh, here we go again. Did you hear the latest silliness coming out of the Canyons School District? School board officials decided that the nickname selected by students for the new Corner Canyon High School is offensive.

The offending nickname? Cougars.

As in Brigham Young University Cougars.

As in Kearns High Cougars.

As in Washington State Cougars.

According to the Department of People Who Take Themselves Too Seriously, the school board determined that "Cougars" is offensive — to middle-age women.

"Cougar," if you haven't heard, is a slang term for a middle-age woman who pursues romance (or whatever) with young men. That probably never even occurs to you when you hear Bronco Mendenhall discuss the Cougars in one of his sleepy interviews. Apparently, it occurs to the people who serve on the school board, which should be embarrassing.

I quote Mark Twain: "In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then, he made school boards."

What do you expect from a school district that last summer forced Alta High to change the name of its annual intrasquad football game — known for three decades as "The Black and White game" (home jerseys are black, away jerseys are white) — because it was racially insensitive? Memo to Utes: The Red and White game is next.

There's a pretty good chance these people are trying too hard to justify their existence. They've got their antennae raised 24/7, probing the world for potential offense.

District flak Jennifer Cook explained it this way, apparently with a straight face: " If there's something out there that could divide (the school), let's not go there."

And if there's something out there that could make the district a complete laughingstock, let's not do that, either. The district's decision made national and international news for this idiocy.

The district originally solicited input on a nickname from 4,300 Draper school kids. Cougars received 273 votes, Diamondbacks 180, Falcons 171, Raptors 141.

The school board selected "Charger" instead.

Sheesh, why did they ask?