We are on our own to figure out what's good for us

As your friendly neighborhood columnist, I try to stay abreast of what's good for you and what's not. This isn't easy since scientists keep changing their stories. You can get so dizzy trying to follow their "latest research" that soon you'll be reaching for the Dramamine, which isn't good for you (is it?).

As a public service, I like to visit this subject every few years to bring you up to speed (not good for you). The latest health tips:

Vitamins might not actually be good for you — and that was the point, right?

Anxiety is good for you (see cover story of this week's Time Magazine). Worry warts — enjoy yourself.

Anger can be good for you and everyone around you — this according to the Association of Psychological Science. Try telling this one to your spouse.

Alcohol can be good for you — for preventing some heart disease. Unless you're driving. Unless you're an alcoholic. Unless you want a healthy liver and brain. Unless you don't need the extra calories.

The annual PSA tests and prostate tests men undergo regularly might be pointless and even bad for you. I've heard worse news.

Annual breast exams might have no significant benefits for women considered low risk for cancer. They've heard worse news.

Video games and TV might be good for you. It's a stretch, but go with it.

Cellphones cause cancer.

Cellphones are harmless. Unless you're behind the wheel and texting.

Butter is better than margarine.

Margarine is better than butter.

Eggs are good for you.

Eggs are bad for you.

Chocolate is good for you, blah, blah, blah.

If you don't like today's health tips, just wait a few days. Apparently, scientists arrive at their conclusions using highly scientific methods such as Ouija boards, dice, astrology, paper-rock-scissors, palm reading and whatever it is that Oprah and Dr. Phil told them. It has a margin of error of plus or minus 50 percent.

It always helps to remember that they used to say cigarettes were good for you, too.

So I give up. We are on our own to figure out what's good for us.