See something, then say something

"If you see something, say something." That's the public announcement U.S. Homeland Security is running to help prevent terrorist attacks. Great idea.

Oh, how times have changed. In my growing-up days, we didn't need reminders about saying something when we saw something wrong. There were always adult eyes looking out the windows, doors and around the corners, making sure we didn't get out of line. It was not uncommon for Mrs. Johnston to tell my mom I was playing with matches or digging trenches for dugouts. My life would have been more fun, but maybe shorter, had there not been adults to rat kids out.

And where were all the childhood experts to tell my parents they should not punish me because it would harm my self-esteem for life? We had no helicopter parents to protect us from mean teachers and principals when we did something wrong in school or lawyers who were ready to sue schools for harming a child's psyche; no interventions, therapy, evaluations or the chance to "use your words."

Punishment was swift and to the point, not only by officials, but worse from parents. Parents were the last ones us kids wanted to know we'd messed up. It was clear that a conspiracy existed between our parents and those in authority. If I got in trouble in school and didn't fess up when I got home, it was double trouble for me the next day.

It was those daily "interventions" by our parents, neighbors, clergy and educators that helped us learn right from wrong and to respect adults and those in authority. They formed our values so necessary to learn in order to live in our civil society.

The rules of behavior were taught and modeled by adults around us, who didn't do a lot of talking — they didn't need to. They did it by their modeling. Adults lived by the informal rules — common values — all societies find necessary to live and thrive together, to respect and look after each other. They didn't need reminders to say something if they saw something. Social scientists give it fancy names like mores, folkways and social controls. Anyway, it seemed to help transform us from little barbarians into social human beings.

That was then; now our society is more complex, impersonal, fast moving, divided by income and roles are less clear than for past generations. We are hesitant to reach out, and the old neighborhood structure, which provided the necessary social controls, has long been gone. Now we need slogans to remind us to help each other if we are going to make it in this world. We have to get back to basics, and reawaken the values that bind us together as human beings.