A list of NFL lists to end all lists

According to our new media staff, readers love lists. Why? Read this list: 1. Nobody can read more than a few sentences at a time anymore, 2. Lists are neat and orderly in a chaotic world, 3. You grew up with David Letterman, 4. You can't pay attention long enough even to get to No. 5, so let's skip it. Here they are, a list of lists to kick off the NFL season Thursday night.

A Baker's Dozen of the Most Compelling Story Lines: 1. Can the Packers repeat? 2. Will the Eagles' off-season shopping spree pay off? 3. Can Austin Collie's head survive life in the NFL? 4. Can Kevin Kolb succeed in Arizona? 5. Can Donovan McNabb resurrect his career? 6. Will Alex Smith ever become a solid NFL quarterback? 7. What will happen to Carson Palmer? 8. Will anyone call Brett Favre? 9. Is this the year the post-Vick Falcons complete their amazing revival and win it all? 10. Can John Fox revive the sinking, stinking Broncos? 11. What will happen to Tim Tebow? 12. And Cam Newton? 13. What will Rex Ryan and his big mouth do for an encore?

10 Players, Coaches and Teams You Love to Hate: 1. Rex Ryan. Loud, fat, profane, cocky — what's to like? 2. The Jets. A team reflects the coach, right? Anyone surprised they signed Plaxico Burress?, 3. The Bengals (now holding Carson Palmer hostage), 4. Vince Young, 5. Tom Coughlin (why does this man always look like he's got indigestion?), 6. Al Davis — the NFL's Howard Hughes?, 7. The Eagles (now the NFL's version of the Miami Heat), 8. Dan Snyder, 9. The Cowboys (but not so much now that they are losing), 10. The attention-starved player formerly known as Chad Johnson.

Five Best Organizations: 1. Steelers, 2. Packers, 3. Patriots, 4. Eagles, 5. Falcons.

Five Worst Organizations: 1. Bengals, 2. Bengals, 3. Raiders, 4. Bengals, 5. Bengals.

Mr. Blackwell's Five Best Uniforms: 1. Cowboys, 2. Packers, 3. 49ers, 4. Chargers, 5. Eagles.

Mr. Blackwell's Five Worst Uniforms:1. Bengals, 2. Browns, 3. Bucaneers, 4. Jaguars, 5. Seahawks.

Top 10 Football Players Regardless of Position: 1. Charles Woodson, 2. Troy Polamalu, 3. Haloti Ngata, 4. Hines Ward, 5. Michael Vick, 6. DeMarcus Ware, 7. Elvis Dumervil, 8. Jared Allen, 9. Julius Peppers, 10. Patrick Willis.

Five Biggest Disappointments: 1. Vince Young, 2. Reggie Bush, 3. Dallas Cowboys, 4. Ryan Mathews, 5. Cam Newton (just getting an early start).