Jay Evensen: On second thought...

Utah's new fireworks law allows "cake" fireworks. Sort of puts a sense of urgency into blowing out the candles on your birthday, doesn't it?

A new report says you can counter the bad effects of fatty foods with lots of spices. Give me a triple cheeseburger, please, with a generous side of black pepper and garlic powder. Oh, and keep the water coming.

The Davis County School District just passed a tax increase amounting to $68 a year on a home valued at $200,000. This comes after a $60.50 hike on a $200,000 home in 2010. The lesson is to avoid $200,000 homes in Davis County.

When it comes to drawing boundaries for Utah's four congressional districts, the choice apparently comes down to one between two configurations — pizza slices or a donut hole. And we wonder why obesity is such a problem.

Why can't we use different descriptive terms? Make it a choice between four 90-degree rice cake wedges and a large appetite-suppressant tablet. Never mind.

The word from Europe this week is that France is calling on all nations to add balanced budget amendments to their constitutions. And from this country comes word that members of the tea party are celebrating with large orders of freedom fries.

Rick Perry said this week that global warming isn't real. That's a coincidence, considering some folks don't think Rick Perry is real.

So, first Standard & Poor's lowers the U.S. bond rating to AA+, causing huge political embarrassment and sending markets into turmoil; and then the federal government launches an investigation of Standard & Poor's? The ghost of Richard Nixon just called. He wants his enemies list back.

Follow Jay Evensen on Twitter @jayevensen.