BRAIN DRAIN

Rock On has never been the sharpest tool in the shed, but maybe things are looking up.

At last week's Pac-12 preview, Oregon coach Chip Kelly praised the media's IQ, saying, "I'd like to commend the media that covers this conference. I think they're the smartest ones out there; you picked us to win the conference."

Then again, the compliment came from a guy whose program allegedly paid $25,000 to a scout who later leaked information that might get the Ducks censured by the NCAA.

How smart is that?

SOME LIKE IT HOT

One of the conference's media day highlights was when UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel said he was "excited" to be there and added, "As a coach on the proverbial hot seat, I guess you're excited to be invited to any of these."

Rock On is just excited to hear any coach admit he's on the hot seat and not resort to the old "nobody puts more pressure on me than myself" line.

That alone should get Neuheisel at least two more seasons on the job.

(MY)SPACED OUT

Bill Belichick, in the Worchester Telegram, on Chad Ochocinco's visibility in the social media: "That's not something I follow, as you know. I don't Twitter, I don't MyFace, I don't do any of those things, so I'd probably be the last to know."

CAREER SPIKE

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times, on NBA player Kevin Love's plan to play pro volleyball during the lockout: "No NBA? We can live with that. But is the world really ready to see a, say, size-38 Speedo bikini bottom with "LOVE" stitched across the back?"

GETTING SCHOOLED

Former boxing champ Larry Holmes, 61, recently received his high school diploma.

But since he made an estimated $100 million without one, is this really a good time to suggest he launch a stay-in-school campaign?

SHIRT OFF HIS BACK

Comment on this story

Nationwide Tour player Jonas Blixt on being sponsored by Puma, the same company that outfits garishly dressed PGA Tour curiosity Rickie Fowler: "People tend to make fun of me. They ask me if Rickie gives his old clothes to me."

email: rock@desnews.com

Twitter: therockmonster

Facebook: rockmonsterunplugged