Jazz draftee Enes Kanter will be wearing uniform No. 0 this season.
It's not identical to Greg Ostertag (00), but it does match that of Mr. Citizen's Arrest himself, Olden Polynice, who was twice charged with impersonating an officer following traffic confrontations.
Word is Kanter first must complete training at the police academy before putting on his jersey.
After that, as they say in cop talk, it's time to roll.
And let's be careful out there.
Kanter told reporters in Salt Lake this week that his favorite wrestler is "The Undertaker," but he also likes to go by the "Underkanter."
Which raises a question: If he fails to become a star, will he call himself "The Underachiever?"
Ron Artest, who missed 73 games in 2004-05 for fighting with fans in Detroit, says he wants a new handle.
The Lakers forward moved last week to change his name to Metta World Peace.
Just a suggestion: How about clearing up the locker room problems the Lakers have, then work on Planet Earth?
Members of the Ute football team showed up at Pioneer Park on Saturday to sign autographs and hand out schedules, in conjunction with the weekly Farmers Market.
All went well until someone asked the coach to please park 350-pound Benji Kemoeatu out back with the other farm machinery.
Barry Bonds' personal trainer, Greg Anderson, was recently ordered to quit coaching a Bay Area kids baseball team.
Seems people got nervous after he told his team it was "in the clear" after building a 9-0 lead.
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The Detroit Pistons are looking for a coach, and one of the latest considerations is none other than Orlando assistant Patrick Ewing.
Yup, same guy who during the last NBA lockout said, "We make a lot, but we spend a lot, too."
Sources say if the Pistons hire him, Ewing plans to make the team slogan: "We spend a lot, but we also get beat a lot."
You can hear Brad Rock on the "Hans and OC Show" from 6 to 10 a.m. through Thursday this week.