Rock On

WINNERS' CIRCLE

In the unending competition between BYU and Utah, both schools sent out news bulletins, last week, regarding preseason magazine honors.

Utah's release, under the headline "Utes mentioned in Phil Steele's College Preview," noted that nine Utes made the magazine's All-Pac-12 (not All-America) team. None were on the first team.

Not to be outdone (underdone?), BYU's release noted that 18 Cougars made Steele's preseason All-Independent team.

How many independent teams are there?

Um, four.

This headline just in: "Ten players from Utah, BYU invited to Costco warehouse Customer Appreciation Day."

ENTITLED

Lawyers for legendary quarterback John Elway have contacted a punk rock band that calls itself "Elway," asking it to change its name.

But lead singer Tim Browne says the Hall of Famer needs to lighten up.

"We're just guys living in a van, driving across the country, playing shows with next to nobody (in the audience)," Browne told USA Today.

Rock On thinks he has a solution that won't infringe on anyone's reputation (except maybe the band's): How about naming it "Ostertag?"

LEBRON-LESS

If the Jazz get lucky, they'll get Arizona's Derrick Williams in the NBA Draft.

Rock On is all in favor of that, for one reason: It would pretty much fill out the All-time, All-Derek/Eric Jazz lineup that includes Derek Fisher, Derrick Favors and, of course, Jazz PR man Derek Garduno, not to mention Eric Johnson, Eric Leckner, Eric Maynor, Eric Murdock and Eric White.

Which is nice, but honestly, when this started out, how come nobody thought to draft any LeBrons?

OFF THE MARK

Religious billboards in parts of the country last winter inaccurately predicted that on May 21, the world would end. Oops.

But don't be too harsh on them. Remember when Mel Kiper predicted John Walsh would be a first round pick?

You decide which was the bigger whiff.

A TRUE ARTEST

The Professional Basketball Writers Association recently awarded Ron Artest the J. Walter Kennedy Award for service to the community.

Amazing what you get for punching out a few Pistons fans.

email: rock@desnews.com

Twitter: therockmonster