It's tough to know how to be a parent now

"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches." "A Mother's Prayer for Its Child," by Tina Fey

A great fear that can keep parents awake at night is one of their children will be harmed while on their watch.

Because society is now in high awareness mode, there are many safeguards and all kinds of laws to protect kids that weren't in place when we were parenting.

They are all well-meaning, but some make our lives more complicated, like seat belts. When I am the grandma-sitter getting the kids in the car and all buckled up is an exhausting exercise.

However, it is worth it as the No. 1 cause of deaths in children is not wearing a seat belt — it's a fact, so I obey. But like any safeguard it can go awry as our daughter-in-law Stacy can attest.

She had everyone fed, watered and securely strapped in and was driving down the road in her big, safe car when she heard Londyn calling, "Mom, mom my seat belt is squeezing me."

Apparently, Londyn had tried to adjust her seat belt and somehow it pulled tight and was cutting into her skinny 9-year-old body so tight that Stacy said she couldn't even get a finger in without hurting her.

After calling the car company she found the only way to get it taken care of was to go to a dealer. Fortunately, that dealer was just 15 minutes away.

Stacy called ahead to the dealership where upon arriving two men ran to the car with tools and quickly took the situation in hand.

Kids do the darndest things! (I think that is a TV show.)

This winter, we spent some time in Arizona. It seemed like almost every week there was a child in the pool incident. Not all of them died, but there were those who did.

The Phoenix area has all sorts of ordinances to protect against such tragedy, but unfortunately, people leave kids alone or leave a gate open accidentally.

Or we can just unthinkingly be negligent.

A few Julys past, our entire family had gathered to have a barbecue-swim party. There are 12 adults in our family and some fairly grown grandchildren, so there were plenty of eyes that should have been watching — or at least one pair charged to watch. Fortunately, Grit happened to glance over just as 2-year-old Asher fell in and he was able to pull him out quickly. We were lucky that day.

We can pass all kinds of laws and watch every morsel our kids eat. We can get a background check on every parent in the grade school. We can read up on every new finding and drive ourselves crazy trying to be the perfect parent.

Besides that, society is giving us mixed messages. Eat that. Don't eat that. Use crib bumpers. Don't use crib bumpers. Even trying to do the right things, life gets confusing.

As Shakespeare said, "there lies the rub."

Sadly, accidents do happen. That is what makes us sleepless — we aren't guaranteed absolute control no matter how crazy we make ourselves.

But we can have control of the tattoo issue. My advice? Put it in the will!