'Emerging adulthood' changes dating rituals

PROVO — While a student at BYU, Aaron Adamson worked hard to attain a coveted spot in the school's competitive business program — a direction he's always wanted take.

Though the pursuit of an education didn't stop him from going on dates, school was a higher priority, overshadowing his desire to get married.

A member of the LDS Church — now a 28-year-old commercial portfolio manager at Zion's Bank living in Orem — Adamson deals with finding balance amidst a unique social landscape — and having countless people attempt to set him up on blind dates which he "thinks is hilarious."

"I think there is a pressure," Adamson said. "But I think you bring a lot of that pressure on yourself. According to (LDS) beliefs, we know that we should be getting married. You see friends...and those around you taking those steps and you have to ask yourself, 'Where am I at in that process?' Why is this not happening for me?'"

Adamson isn't alone. Members of the LDS Church as well as people worldwide — young and old — are grappling with the question of marriage in a swiftly shifting society.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age for a man to marry is about 28 and a woman 26 — a figure that has been on the rise for the last few decades — with members of the LDS Church consistently getting married about two to three years earlier than the national average. Earlier this month at the LDS General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson and other church leaders encouraged young single Mormon men to more actively pursue matrimony.

"Brethren, there is a point at which it's time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity," President Monson said.

There has also been a sea change in how young adults date, experts say. Traditional courtship has given way to no-strings-attached relationships, according to the recently released book, "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marrying." The connections men and women are making are increasingly brief and sexual according to the book's author, Mark Regnerus, a professor of sociology at the University of Texas.

A recent study by Time magazine and the Pew Research Center found that while 44 percent of Americans under the age of 30 believe marriage is an institution on its way to becoming obsolete, only 5 percent of that age group do not want to get married.