Humans just can't get along without celebrities

Humans need celebrities, perhaps not as much as air, water and food, but close. One wonders what emotionally deep-seated need people seek in stars, MVPs, tycoons, beauties, and a touch of the bizarre.

In Judeo-Christian scriptures and the religious texts of others, there are multiple references to God walking with man. Just maybe our modern-day human cravings for celebrities, movie stars, the rich and famous come from an internal longing to walk with gods. Today they are called celebrities.

The first superstars were created when someone performed godlike feats. Imagine capturing fire after a lightning strike. Whoa, that gal would have been queen for a day. Think of the lines of autograph seekers if there had only been writing.

Then sure enough, another comes along and invents the wheel. A cart hooked to an ox could carry loads at a speed that previously only gods could have imagined. That guy's feats of greatness would be trumpeted around town or at least to the parts of the globe where horns were invented

One answer to this lonesome existence on earth without God was for the Greeks to make their divine humanoid. They provided the transition from worshiping idols to adoring the achievements of man.

Anciently when man walked alone without providence, it was the king who was the human surrogate for the divine. He was the arch prototype of a celebrity; he was the main man super-dude. His palace was built near the city temple so he could be the god of the harvest and the flocks. That is where the real estate term, location, location, location came to be. He was the ruler, the priestly intermediary and ultimately counterfeit for the eternal master of nature the sun, wind and rain.

He was the king, of course, but also the high priest, and a god by right. By being the triple threat, this fellow commanded the front page every day. The gossip would all be about his recent DUI while driving a chariot, or who was his favorite concubine at the moment.

There would be the speculation about dreams, or why the god caused drought and crop failures. He would be hounded by all kinds of peasants or paparazzi wanting to garnish his favor or draw his picture. His time would not be his own no matter where he went in his empire. Oh, the price of fame.

As civilizations grew, megastars emerged from royalty. The most popular were the gorgeous princesses sponsoring charities. Arranged political marriages would have the guest list scrutinized and the Daily Mesopotamian Cuneiform would have reporters critiquing the bride's dress, the various beautiful guests and their trips to the vomitorium.