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Brad Rock: Rock On

Published: Monday, March 7 2011 11:27 p.m. MST

Commotion central

Ah, Utah, where nothing ever happens.

Well, almost nothing. And almost never.

In a three-week span, Jimmer Fredette went viral, BYU climbed to No. 3 in the rankings, Brandon Davies was dismissed, Jerry Sloan retired, Deron Williams was traded, Jim Boylen hung in the balance and RSL became the first MLS team to reach the semifinals of the CONCACAF Champions League.

With news like this, who needs Charlie Sheen?

Hustling out

Sheen, star of the film "Major League," held a recent screening party attended by — who else? — ballplayers.

He reportedly had Brian Wilson, Lynny Dykstra, Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile and Eddie Murray at his house for the event.

Stories also said Pete Rose was invited but didn't attend.

Charlie Sheen but no Charlie Hustle?

That ban from baseball really was forever, wasn't it?

Space patrol

On NBC's Today Show, Sheen quoted from Allen Iverson's famous rant on practice.

Isn't that a bit like Shawn Kemp quoting Britney Spears on child-rearing?

Hooked

A national debate followed the suspension of Davies for honor code violation at BYU. Reporters everywhere were trying to figure out exactly what the honor code entails.

This isn't related to Davies' case, but a big point of confusion was whether being a coke addict, or a Coke addict, will get you expelled.

Star treatment

Rock On is still puzzling over that candid shot of Cameron Diaz hand-feeding popcorn to Derek Jeter at this year's Super Bowl and why it was a story.

Hand-feeding the superstars — isn't that the same thing the Yankees do?

Tech-nically winners

California Institute of Technology's losing streak is over.

The Beavers recently beat Occidental College in men's basketball, ending a 26-year, 310-game conference losing streak.

Otherwise known as the You-May-Dominate-in-Hoops-but-We'll-Crush-You-in-Software-Programming streak.

Agony central

Forbes.com rates the five most miserable sports cities thusly: 5. San Diego; 4. Buffalo; 3. Phoenix; 2. Atlanta; 1. Seattle.

Rock On sources say Provo was No. 1 for about 48 hours until the Brandon Davies/New Mexico losses blew over.

e-mail: rock@desnews.com

twitter: therockmonster

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