Well, it's time once again for that big night of glitz, glamour, evening gowns and some of the gorgeous, goofy people who have somehow made their mark in show business.
No, silly, not the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
It's time for the 83rd annual Academy Awards, a night when Hollywood honors its own, for excellence in film, with that coveted little statue named Oscar.
It's a night filled with mindless red-carpet chatter, plunging necklines (re: cleavage) and other creative (or gaudy) wardrobe choices, tons of tuxedos, a lot of sincerely humble winners, gracious non-winners (after all, you certainly can't consider these big-time celebrities as losers, can you?) and, generally speaking, the world's most beautiful people — all captured in one place for three (or four) hours.
In looking at the many films that received Oscar nominations this year, it seemed that some of these movie titles would work quite nicely in summarizing what's been going on in the sports world these days.
For example, "127 Hours" might very well be precisely how long it will take Deron Williams to come to grips with the fact that he was traded away from the Utah Jazz, a perennial playoff contender, to the woeful New Jersey Nets, who fell to 17-41 on the season with Friday's loss to the Spurs in Williams' debut in a Nets uniform.
Some other potential Oscar nominees with sports topics:
"True Grit" — This, of course, is the story of longtime Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, a man who has displayed that gritty tenacity in everything he's ever done. Take crusty old Rooster Cogburn, fast-forward a hundred years, and he is coach Sloan — a tough, fearless, foul-mouthed, loyal and good-hearted guy. All Sloan needs is a six-shooter and an eye patch.
"The King's Speech" — This one would fit Kevin O'Connor, who doesn't stutter or stammer quite as much as King George VI once did. But the deft way the Jazz GM dodges tough questions in an interview is as masterful as it is frustrating for media members.
"Inception" — It's the beginning chapter of Ty Corbin's career as an NBA head coach.
"The Kids Are All Right" — This is the theme of the Oklahoma City Thunder, whose roster's average age was well under 25 years old before the trade-deadline additions of Kendrick Perkins, 26, and Nazir Mohammed, 33. They ranked as the third-youngest in the entire NBA. And yet they're 15 games over .500 (36-21) and leading the Northwest Division.
"Black Swan" — With his long, lean arms and legs, long neck and the graceful way he plays the game, it's gotta be the Thunder's Kevin Durant.
"Winter's Bone" — Something Carlos Boozer will undoubtedly claim is injured or broken this season or next.
"The Fighter" — That would be a great title for a book by BYU men's basketball coach Dave Rose, who has battled back from life-threatening cancer and has the Cougars' program climbing to unprecedented heights.
"Unstoppable" — This would certainly summarize the Green Bay Packers' impressive postseason march to winning this year's Super Bowl.
"The Confession" — What Brett Favre probably owes the NFL and his wife.
"Biutiful" — This, unfortunately, would be the way many somewhat illiterate professional athletes might try to spell the word "beautiful."
"The Crush" — What everyone in Utah County, and the college basketball world in general, has on BYU's adorable superstar, Jimmer Fredette, these days.
(Sorry, but I couldn't come with anything for "The Social Network" or "Toy Story 3").
But, hopefully, you still get the "picture."
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