Chuck E. Cheese's serves up more than expected

Four years. I made it almost four years, but I finally gave in and took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese's last weekend.

It's not that I have anything against the place, but I have a hard time getting excited to go to a dinner place with "cheese" in its name and a rat for a mascot. Plus, I knew there would be lots of kids hopped up on breadsticks, flashing lights and tokens — a lethal combination when it comes to 4-year-olds.

So I was prepared for the night and all the childlike wonder that came with it.

I wondered, for example, how a pizza could cost $40. For that low, low price you get 35 tokens (huzzah!) and a pizza that smelled oddly like feet. Of course, I jest — that price includes all the infectious diseases you could ever imagine!

I came fully equipped with hand sanitizer and a stern eye out for that kid who kept wiping his nose and then touching every wheel, joystick and ball in the place. So I sent my daughter Nicole off into the world of video games, tube slides and molded plastic.

Somehow, though, the place just didn't hold the magic it did for me when I was a kid. In fact, the whole thing just seemed a little crazy from a parent's point of view. For example, at one point, Chuck E. Cheese himself (I know, can you believe it!) came out and danced with the kids. One kid tried to touch Chuck, only be to swatted away by a bouncer with an earpiece who yelled, "Hey, nobody touches Chuck E."

It was about that time all the toddlers in the place simultaneously broke out into a flash mob while Chuck E. showered them with free tickets. I felt like I was crazy, or at least having that recurring nightmare involving oversize rats and teenage bouncers who have gone crazy with power.

But it was not a dream; it was real. I have the photos to prove it.

I also have the photos to prove another phenomenon I did not expect that night: My husband became a 4-year-old.

He was sorely disappointed, for example, that he did not break the record in a ping-pong ball catching game. He even blamed the machine, saying it was off balance.

He did, however, come through with a solid victory in Whac-a-Mole that somewhat compensated for his earlier failure. I should note here he spilled not one, but two drinks in his Whac-a-Mole fervor. I'm so proud.