For better work/life balance, make time for 'dates'

If you're a working parent, you've likely heard — and probably participated in — the debate about quality time vs. quantity time when it comes to your children.

This column is not going to settle that debate.

However, as I try to bring my work life and home life into better balance, I have recently rediscovered something that helps me satisfy both my own quality and quantity concerns.

It's the father/child outing.

Six years ago, these were known as daddy/daughter dates in our family, and I was doing a pretty good job of spending some time with one of my girls every Saturday. I looked forward to these events as much as they did, even if they consisted of only a quick trip out for breakfast or time in a store running errands.

My girls were all little then, but I treasure the memory of those outings. They gave us a chance to talk one-on-one. I learned so much about what my girls were doing in school, what they liked and disliked, what they hoped for, what they feared.

At the same time, I was able to show that I really wanted to listen to them. My wife, who was able to work such conversations more into her daily routine with the children, told me they looked forward to their "dates" with me all week while I was at work. Our system was working great.

Then, a little more than five years ago, we had a son. For one thing, that meant it was time to change the "daddy/daughter" name of the weekly outing.

At about the same time, I took on significant additional duties in my local church congregation. Between having a new baby around the house and a major additional time commitment at church, I missed a few weeks of father/child outings. And then, as so often happens, missing those outings became a bad habit.

It's not that I didn't have the time for them anymore. I could have — should have — made sure my schedule included the outings. But after a few weeks, it wasn't expected anymore. We fell out of the routine.

Every now and then, I would try to restart the tradition, but I wasn't committed enough.

So, when my work and church life both changed in the last few months, I decided it was time to make sure father/child outings were once again on the weekly schedule.

I took my teenager to a movie one Saturday. My second-oldest daughter and I went out for ice cream the next. And then I went to breakfast with my youngest girl. Next up is a day with my son. (He says he wants to go to an ice cream place to get "bamilla" ice cream.)