Chandler woman, 76, bullied by other seniors

CHANDLER, Ariz. — Doris Lor says it wasn't until she reached her 70s that she understood what it's like to be bullied.

The 76-year-old retired secretary has lived in New York, California and a couple of parts of the Valley, and said she always found her neighbors friendly and felt welcomed in crafts clubs and community groups — until she moved into an age-restricted retirement community in Chandler.

That's when she encountered her first bullies, and her social life took a dramatic turn for the worse.

"There is a clique here that is meaner than mean," Lor said. "The first time I went to the recreation center, a man yelled at me, 'This is a private club. You aren't welcome here.' "

Social workers, recreation-center officials and others who work with the elderly say the problem Lor describes is getting more common as the retirement population increases and more people enter care homes and retirement centers.

Melanie Starns, an assistant Arizona Department of Economic Security director overseeing the Aging and Adult Services Division, said her staff often hears stories about bullying, but they do not keep statistics on them.

"It's a pretty big deal. The mean girls were there in school and as we get older, they are still around," she said.

Lor, who has lived in a 1,150-home retirement community called Solera Chandler since 2003, said she has never received support from the community's manager or HOA board.

She said she was annoyed to receive a letter of reprimand from the HOA in September after she tried to confront the residents she says exclude her from community programs.

Solera Chandler's manager and HOA president declined comment on Lor's experiences. HOA President Mark Herrald responded to an interview request with a letter stating that his community "has not and will not tolerate bullying on the common areas of the community."

Lor said despite repeated complaints and letters to the director of her homeowners association, she can't get a seat at a card table, gets the cold shoulder at the women's club and has been chased away from seats at the community pool.

"No matter where you go, even if you pay for the activity, the clique saves all the seats," Lor said. "I have never had a problem like this anywhere else. I have never been bullied at any other time in my life."