Giving, not receiving — How to teach children joy of serving others during holiday season

Each year the day after Christmas, my children begin making their Christmas lists for the next year.

Half the presents they received this year haven't been taken out of the box yet, but my boys are already wishing for something more. It's common to hear year-round at our house, "For Christmas I want a new bike, or a new video game, or maybe a trampoline."

My children know that Christmas is a time they receive gifts. As parents, we've taught our children what to expect. They know that we also give presents during Christmastime, but I've been wondering lately if my children find joy in giving this time of year. Or, does all the joy of Christmastime for them come only in receiving?

Recently, as I was preparing to get my 5-year-old son to school, I asked him if he'd brushed his teeth yet. He told me he hadn't. I began to lecture him about how he often forgets to brush his teeth in the morning.

"Mom, I don't forget to brush my teeth. I just never knew I was supposed to brush my teeth in the morning," he said.

I was stunned. I was sure I had taught him this necessity of life. And if I hadn't, I'm sure the dentist had advised him accordingly. His older brother brushes his teeth every morning without being asked. I assumed that my 5-year-old would have acquired the same habit, but I was wrong.

It wasn't that he was being neglectful or disobedient. He simply didn't know what was expected of him.

I've realized that my children don't know what's expected of them at Christmastime, either. In our home, the focus has been much more on our children receiving gifts than it has been about giving gifts. So this year, I've put together an action plan to help teach my children that giving at Christmastime can bring just as much joy, or more, as receiving.

Teach them why and how to give.

My children are all younger than 8, so I have to use simple examples to help them. I found a great book, "The Berenstain Bears and the Joy of Giving." I figured that something as simple as reading them a book and showing how others give is a great start.

Recently, we purchased "Toy Story 3." The final tear-jerking scene, when Andy passes his toys to Bonnie, demonstrates a great lesson for children to see the joy of giving.