Buttoned Up: Give thanks for planning, organization

Thanksgiving brings family and friends together for turkey, stuffing and celebration, but it can be stressful if you're doing all of the work.

Is your family traveling across the country to bunk in your too-small guest room? Will you have 12 for dinner but have room for just 10? Think back to that first Thanksgiving: It took a whole village of Pilgrims plus Indians to pull the feast together. Keep that in mind when you're planning your holiday, and ditch the martyrdom. Who needs the thankless job of cooking, baking and decorating by yourself?

Sarah on "embracing imperfection":

I have finally learned that it doesn't have to be perfect for it to be enjoyable or memorable. My husband and I both come from large families, and now that everyone is grown and has kids of their own, it's even bigger. I couldn't make the event perfect if I wanted to. ... It has become more about being together than what or where we are eating. Instead of stressing out about every last detail, I try to pick a few things that are important to me and focus on them. For instance, I put my energy toward crafting pretty centerpieces instead of worrying whether my napkins are ironed.

Alicia on "giving the gift of help":

People do really like to help, so enlist them when planning your holiday. Nobody said you had to cook everything, so split it up and hand out assignments to those who ask. They'll be happy they were able to contribute and you'll have a lightened load.

Here are three ways to take the tension out of Thanksgiving:

1. Map it out. You don't want to sit down to dinner only to realize that you left the sweet potatoes in the fridge. Map out the whole meal from start to finish. Make your shopping list, figure out who is bringing what and determine timing for the oven. Lay out the dishes with notes indicating their contents — you'll never forget a dish if it's staring you in the face.

2. Table setting. The Thanksgiving table is where it all comes together, so plan what you will use and whether you need to borrow or buy any pieces (like a large platter for the turkey). Remember that your guests are coming for the event, not to see what your wedding china looks like, so don't fret if you don't polish the silver or don't have enough salad plates. A pretty table doesn't have to be formal. Another way to handle the table setting is to get the kids involved. They love to hunt for pinecones for centerpieces or glue feathers onto paper turkeys.

3. Plan activities for little ones. It's a long day, even for the adults. Put one or two people in charge of indoor and outdoor activities to keep the kids (and the parents) from climbing the walls.

The writers are cofounders of Buttoned Up, a company dedicated to helping stressed women get organized. Send ideas and questions to yourlife@getbuttonedup.com Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service.