You want some answers, LeBron James? OK, here you go

What should he do?

Seriously. What should he do?

That's what LeBron James asks in his new TV commercial.

In case you were fortunate enough to miss it, LeBron poses a lot of questions in this interminable 90-second ad, which forces us to reflect once again on his horribly ungracious exit from Cleveland last summer — a.k.a. The Decision, as he and his lackeys called it.

The commercial opens with a profile shot of LeBron looking thoughtful, and then he asks, "What should I do?" He proceeds to ask the question repeatedly while we watch him in action on and off the court.

LeBron doesn't really want answers, of course; what he wants is your sympathy. What he wants is to reclaim the love and popularity he lost when he dumped his hometown in a stunningly narcissistic way to sign with a hand-picked, instant-championship team in Miami. When he asks, "What would YOU do?" what he is really saying is, "You would have done the same thing."

Which is wrong. Nobody else in his position has done what he did. No star player — Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, David Robinson, Bill Russell, or LeBron's new teammate, Dwayne Wade — gave up on themselves and their team to join another team just to win a championship. It was unthinkable to them. They wanted to beat those guys, not join them.

LeBron doesn't want answers to his questions, but he'll get them here anyway.

"Seriously, what should I do?" he asks, staring into the camera lens.

Well, for starters, LeBron, you should shut your mouth. Every time you open your big yapper on this subject, it just makes things worse. Like the time CNN's Soledad O'Brien idiotically served you up an excuse you hadn't even thought of by asking if race was a factor in your falling out with the public. You should have said no and explained that couldn't be the case because, after all, you made zillions of dollars off the public — white and black — before The Decision and you were still black back then, too. Instead, you saw an opportunity for sympathy and jumped onboard — "I think so at times," you said. "It's always, you know, a race factor."

As if you hadn't already alienated enough people.

"Should I admit that I've made mistakes."