Fathers have big influence on young daughters

An Open Letter to the Fathers of Young Daughters:

So the other day I had breakfast with a friend whose life isn't easy. Which is nothing new. Her life hasn't been easy for years.

But then who really has an easy life? NO ONE!

That's who!

We all have our stuff, right?

Still, this friend's life is uber complicated.

She carries on, though — beautifully! — and as we chatted, she offered this insight into her remarkable resilience:

"I had a good dad," she said.

For the record, she had a good mom, too, and the importance of that cannot be underestimated.

But a girl who has a father in her corner is doubly blessed.

For the rest of her life, she can hold her own in a room full of men. And she won't even know she's doing it because it's second nature to her.

How do you raise a girl like that?

Let your daughter know you think she's smart.

How?

Take an active interest in her schoolwork.

Go to parent teacher conferences.

Put down your newspaper and listen to her.

Make eye contact when the two of you talk. (BTW you should let her know you think she's pretty, too. But let "smart" trump "pretty.")

Laugh at her jokes — even the dumb ones. Your laughter lets her know she's good company.

Promise her a Slurpee and invite her to run errands on a Saturday morning with you, then let your daughter tell you stories on the way to Home Depot.

Trust me. As she grows older she'll treasure the memory of those conversations.

Side note: This is probably a good time to mention the fact that some dads show an innocent, unconscious preference for their boys' activities.

Just do your best to be fair.

Finally, don't forget to teach your daughter stuff.

My own dad taught me how to turn a cartwheel, put someone in a half nelson, throw a soft ball, and swing a golf club.

He also taught me how to do a back dive.

I can still remember the sound of the board as I jumped, arched my back, shot through the air, sliced the water's blue surface and bobbed back up like a cork.

As I re-surfaced, I saw my father standing on the pool's edge.

Because I had water in my eyes, he looked all glittery in the sunlight.

Still. I could see the grin that split his face.

Yes!

She did it!

The world is full of good men. Help your daughter to know this, and both your lives will be the better for it.

e-mail: acannon@desnews.com