Recovery from porn addiction is possible

SALT LAKE CITY — Rhyll Croshaw couldn't answer the therapist's question: "Can you stay with this man as long as he is in recovery?"

At that moment, she didn't know if she wanted to save her marriage or not, but that wasn't the cause of her confusion.

The problem was more basic: After more than 30 years of living with her husband and his pornography addiction, she wasn't sure what recovery was.

Steven Croshaw had already confessed his secret life to his wife twice before. Each time, years went by before she learned the behaviors hadn't gone away.

Now they were back in therapy again.

"If he is in recovery? I don't know what you are talking about," Rhyll told the therapist. "I have never seen recovery. How will I know?

The therapist didn't hesitate. "You will know," he said.

Recovery is possible

Rhyll is one of thousands of women in the United States affected by their husband's pornography use. According to the Witherspoon Institute based in Princeton, N.J., a growing body of research suggests that the habitual use of pornography — especially Internet pornography — can damage people of all ages and both sexes, hurting relationships, productivity, happiness and the ability to function in society.

Experts who treat those who compulsively view pornography agree: Pornography is destructive to individuals, marriages and families.

They also collectively agree on something else: For those who suffer, there is hope.

"Is recovery possible?" said Dan Gray, licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of the LifeSTAR Network. "Absolutely. Exclamation mark!"

Gray said healing happens as people are engaged in the principles of intervention and work with a religious leader, therapist and a 12-step group.

"It is hard work," he said. "It takes a willingness to do the work."

And, he emphasized, it takes time. "Sometimes there are relapses. You need to be patient. But healing is absolutely possible and we see it all the time. We see many people who overcome this problem and become better people because of it. We see relationships heal.