In a blink, newborn phase will come to an end

Published: Sunday, Aug. 8 2010 3:12 p.m. MDT

Our family added a new member this month as I brought home our second daughter, Anne, from the hospital. Our 3-year-old daughter is relishing in big sister status, and we're all enjoying these first few days of sitting around waiting for Anne to open her eyes so we can launch into ridiculous faces and noises to capture her love and attention.

When I went to the hospital to have Anne, I warned my friends that they would likely not hear from me for a long time.

"How long does it take for you to recover?" one friend asked.

"Umm … about a year?" I replied in all honesty. "I don't bounce back quickly."

This was true of my first childbirth experience. I ended up with a series of postpartum complications and didn't truly feel like myself until my daughter's first birthday. In the days after her birth, I was adjusting to breast-feeding, which is almost as painful as childbirth itself. I also went through a hormonal shift so profound that I cried every night at exactly 8 p.m. I wasn't particularly sad, but I had a terrifying feeling that the rest of my life was going to be nothing but sore nipples, dirty diapers and soothing a hysterical baby at 2 a.m.

It was a bleak outlook, and I felt like it would last forever.

But this time around, motherhood hasn't been so much of a learning curve. Nursing was still painful for the first week. Seriously, why do people always say breast-feeding should come naturally? Yes, I have a breast and my baby likes to suck, but that's about the end of the "natural" for me.

And I did still cry a couple of times when I first arrived home from the hospital. This time, however, I don't feel so claustrophobic. I actually feel like I can handle motherhood and at least have an idea of what I am doing.

The biggest difference this time around, however, is my own attitude: I don't feel trapped by motherhood.

I know that the late-night feedings and endless rounds of dirty diapers will taper off. I know there will come a time when breast-feeding is second nature.

I also know that this sweet newborn phase will end.

In a matter of weeks, Anne won't snuggle into my neck rooting for her next meal. She won't have that delicious smell of Dreft baby detergent and milk.

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