Be loyal in presence and absence

Recently, I was in two offices. One, a government office. The other, an educational organization. And, oh my gosh, was there ever a difference in treatment. Holy cow!

The people in the educational office treated me like I had value and worth.

The people in the government office treated me like I was chopped liver. Actually, worse than chopped liver, if there is such a thing.

I wondered if I would have been treated differently if I were related to the head honcho running the place.

Unfortunately, I am afraid, the answer would be yes.

But first, I have to tell you a little more about my experience in the government office. One young man spoke to me rudely and in a condescendingly. So did another employee. Both even rolled their eyes and sighed.

They looked back and forth at each other and laughed at something I did. I remember thinking, "Seriously?" Yep.

But then something miraculous happened. In walked the second in command of their department. Talk about a split-second change. It was actually sickening. The kind of thing that makes you want to vomit.

Even so, I enjoyed watching this change in behavior. And, it got better.

This young man started to brag to the second in command and tell her all about his move to another location, about his work history, blah, blah, blah, even though she didn't ask him any questions. On and on he rambled. It was almost like watching a bad television show you had to watch because the channel was stuck.

Finally, hallelujah, the second in command left. The young man then said to his co-worker, "Do you know who that was?!" He could barely contain himself. "Wow," he continued, "you never see her level walking around."

This leads me to a concept that American author and professional speaker Stephen R. Covey talks about. It's called loyalty to the absent and loyalty to the present. The goal is to be loyal to a person in their presence and even in their absence.

So, for example, using my experience above, the two employees were not loyal to me as they rolled their eyes, sighed and laughed. Were they loyal to me when I left? If I had to guess, I would say probably not.

That's OK. It's not my problem, it's theirs.

But, when I think of true loyalty — someone who epitomized it — I think of our Savior. He was loyal to everyone. In their presence. In their absence. He is my loyalty expert I strive to be like.

As you go about your day, work to be loyal to people. In their presence and especially in their absence. Whether it's your spouse, children, in-laws, neighbors, church members, co-workers, students, athletes, or teammates.

And let those who are disloyal to you remind you to be loyal.

Then think about how people will feel knowing their name is safe with you.

Cynthia Kimball Humphreys is a professional speaker and trainer. She writes a column for weeklies in southern Utah and is a southern Utah correspondent for Deseret News. She can be reached at kimball@every1counts.net. Her column, "Every1Counts," appears bimonthly.