Utah woman tries to reclaim her life after seeking help for addiction

SALT LAKE CITY — Clarissa Marshall sits at a wooden table in the middle dining room of her temporary home, the sounds of downtown drifting in through the small open window near the ceiling.

The setting sun streams in through the open front door and plays across Marshall's face as she happily describes all of the people who have helped her get where she is today — ready to be on her own again.

Marshall openly talks about her drug addictions and experiences on the streets because she believes it's her mission to use what she went through and her recovery to help others — and bring those who are lost back to God.

"I don't regret being an addict," the 40-year-old says. "This is not a sorry, sad story. This is a story of victory, because that's what got me out of being selfish and prideful and lustful and straying away from (God)."

Marshall's short dark hair contrasts with her white shirt and lighter skin. Her clothes look brand new, but everything she wears was once donated to Rescue Haven, a refuge for homeless or battered women that is a ministry of the Rescue Mission of Salt Lake.. Just looking at her, there are no reasons to suspect she has lost everything she had to drugs.

As she talks about her life, she occasionally quotes passages from the Bible verbatim. She speaks plainly about the times she found herself doing things that she believes made her "lose her salvation."

Darkness

Until age 7, Marshall lived with a foster mother in North Salt Lake. Marshall was baptized in the Shiloh Baptist Church. In a handwritten testament for the New Life Addiction Recovery Program, she recalls feeling God's holy spirit with her after being baptized. She called him her imaginary friend.

Marshall's most fond memories of her childhood were playing in the front yard with her imaginary friend, telling him anything and everything on her mind.

Weeks after her baptism, her whole life changed. Her father came and took her away from the foster home to live with him and his family.

From then on, Marshall's childhood consisted of drugs, prostitution and hustling. She was molested multiple times.

"I remember in Sunday school, I was taught to obey your elders," her written testament reads. "Respect them and do as they say. I wanted to make everyone happy. I wanted to please and make them proud of me."