'Felon'? 'Inmate'? Labels are for cans — not people

Recently, I visited a county jail. A man I know is serving a short sentence there. He's in for disorderly conduct, intoxication and assault by prisoner.

He was surprised to see me.

We spoke through Plexiglas or whatever it is that they put between an "inmate" and visitor.

But to me, this man is not an inmate. He's not a label, even though he wore a gray-and-white striped outfit.

Yes, he broke the law.

And yes, he should serve a sentence.

But he's still a son of our Heavenly Father.

He reminds me of a woman in her 30s whom I life coach. Years ago, when she had just turned 18, she was caught in a meth house and was later labeled a felon. She was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, doing wrong things.

As a result, she has to write "felon" on any application that asks about criminal history. She can never vote or give blood.

"I can't even get a job at Walmart, or Lowe's or any of those kinds of places," she cried, even though she has since turned her life around.

To make matters worse, her family and friends still, to this day, treat her like a criminal.

But the worst part is that she does, too. She wears an invisible "F" for felon. We're working on getting rid of that label — for her to create new and positive labels — even though on paper it will never go away.

A mother I know befriended the young woman who was driving the car in which the mother's son was killed. A father and mother who lost their son in a baseball accident were both enthusiastically involved at a stake girls camp I spoke at even though it hasn't been a year since their son's death. I read of a man who forgave the young man who killed his wife and some of his children in a head-on collision and even visited the young man in jail. The Amish forgave and prayed for the man who murdered their children in a school shooting, even visiting the man's family.

Yes, there are those who commit crimes and deny them. We know a higher power will handle their judgment. Not us.

But we do have control over the labels we give people. And we do have control over how someone's crime affects us.

Let us work to follow the words in Matthew 5:44, which reads: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."

How grateful I am for second chances. How grateful I am for forgiveness. How grateful I am for repentance.

How grateful I am that labels are for cans and not for people.

Cynthia Kimball Humphreys, a professional speaker and trainer, writes a column for weekly newspapers in southern Utah. She is a southern Utah correspondent for the Deseret News. Her column, "Every1Counts," appears on our website bi-weekly. E-mail: kimball@every1counts.net.