Survey finds finances fuel fires, couples keep money secrets

SALT LAKE CITY — Kids and in-laws are amateurs at causing heartburn for couples, compared with money issues.

Who makes more, who spends more and who controls the purse strings are questions that challenge marriages. Couples are more apt to know their partner's weight than their salary.

That's according to the American Express Spending & Saving Tracker survey of 2,008 adults recently conducted by Echo Research. It found that one-third of couples say finances are the most stressful facet of the relationship, followed by intimacy at a distance second (11 percent), children (9 percent) and in-laws (4 percent).

That's no surprise to Marcie Keck of Accord Mediation, who works with couples when they've decided to call it quits. They do that for a lot of different reasons, Keck said, "but one of the areas of major stress is when people relate to money differently."

Some people, she noted, are risk averse and others welcome it. Some spend carefully and others blow through money. People have different ideas of how much is enough and what constitutes financial security. Couples who agree — or address the areas where they don't and set boundaries — endure fewer financial fires in a relationship.

The survey found that 91 percent of couples "find reasons to avoid talking about finances." And fewer than half — 43 percent — discussed money before marriage. "Never" is how often 12 percent of the general population have talked about money with their spouse.

The survey also included two subsets of respondents: the "affluent" and "young professionals." Affluents have household incomes above $100,000, while young professionals are college educated, younger than 30 and make $50,000 or more.

About 15 percent of the general population have separate checking accounts and 17 percent individual savings accounts, while 35 percent have individual retirement accounts. For the affluents, the numbers are 15 percent, 15 percent and 49 percent. Young professionals are more apt to have their own accounts across the board, with 25 percent having separate checking, 28 percent savings and half an individual retirement account.

Most couples pay their bills together and 66 percent pool their resources and expenses, while the other 34 percent divide their bills each month. Some of those pay specific bills, while others split household expenses based on income ratios. Nearly half of young professionals (48 percent) separate monthly expenses and so do 37 percent of affluents.