The kindest word that accurately describes Fox's new action/comedy "The Good Guys" is, um, disappointing.
Very disappointing. Massively disappointing.
OK, "Good" is bad.
And it's disappointing because it comes to us from creator/executive producer Matt Nix, who's also executive producer of "Burn Notice." It stars Bradley Whitford ("The West Wing") and Colin Hanks.
And the premise sounds promising — sort of a 1970s buddy cop show set in the 21st century.
But when it doesn't bore you, it provokes you to think, "Boy, is this dumb."
Veteran cop Dan Stark (Whitford) was a hero back in the '70s. As a matter of fact, after he and his partner saved the governor's son, their story was turned into a TV movie. And he's happy to endlessly rehash the good ol' days.
But today, Dan is an alcoholic has-been assigned to investigate routine crimes. Basically, he's a buffoon. And there's no attempt to make him believable. Not only does he not trust DNA evidence, he doesn't even believe DNA exists.
His partner, Jack Bailey (Hanks), is a young, smart guy — too smart for his own good. He's offended his superiors and been assigned to baby-sit Dan. Jack spends a lot of time sighing and expressing his disgust with Dan.
In Wednesday's premiere, Dan and Jack are assigned to investigate the theft of a humidifier. Dan being Dan, he shows up drunk and sleeps with the victim (guest star Nia Vardalos of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding").
Through a series of increasingly over-the-top events, the humidifier investigation is linked to a drug cartel and leads to multiple shoot-outs and car chases.
None of this was meant to be particularly serious. And it could have been great fun.
But it's so labored and lame that if falls completely flat. "The Good Guys" wants desperately to be funny and quirky and fails on both counts.
It's not like there was reason to expect that "The Good Guys" was going to be a great show, but there was hope that it would be entertaining.
Which is why "The Good Guys" is so massively disappointing.
REALLY HAIRY: That cheesy-looking mustache Whitford sports in "The Good Guys" is real.
He said that women are "creeped out" by it.
"I don't know if it's 'Boogie Nights' or what. ... And I always get this reaction, which is, 'Oh, are you growing that for a part?' A kind of disgusted, creeped-out thing," Whitford said. "And my kids hate it.
"My growing this mustache, I've got to say, it reminds me of a lot of the work De Niro did in 'Raging Bull,' " he joked.
If you watch...
What: "The Good Guys"
When: Debuts Wednesday at 7 p.m.
Channel: Fox/Ch. 13
The bottom line: This action/comedy wants to be quirky and funny, but it's just lame, unfunny and boring.