What not to do on reality TV shows

If there are any Utahns out there who are going to be on reality TV shows — and we all know there will be more Utahns on reality TV shows — I hope they were watching the season finale of "The Amazing Race" on Sunday.

Taking notes on what not to do.

Jordan and Dan Pious won the race and the million dollars, but lost a lot of respect because Jordan butted in front of second-place finishers Cord and Jet McCoy.

It wasn't against the rules of the "Race," but it was petty and childish. Yes, it's a game, and everyone wants to win. But Jordan made himself (and his brother, to a lesser extent) look like jerks for absolutely not reason at all.

The line-butting had no effect on the outcome. It was pointless and stupid.

Jordan's no-class move was overshadowed by the behavior of Carol Rosenfeld and Brandy Snow, who had previously been eliminated. (They finished fifth out of 11.)

Carol and Brandy pretty much made fools of themselves when they were eliminated. They were the victims of a "U-turn" sprung on them by third-place finishers Caite Upton and Brent Horne.

A U-turn allows one team to force another to complete an additional task before continuing the race. And Carol and Brandy were furious when it happened to them.

They didn't bother to hide their anger, either.

"Dumb did us in," Brandy said, referring to Caite.

Upton is the former Miss Teen South Carolina who became an Internet sensation in 2007 with her nonsensical answer to a question about why many Americans can't locate the United States on a map.

("I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as …)

Caite somehow sees finishing third in the "Race" as proof that she's not dumb, but she did a whole lot of dumb things during the season. Still, Carol and Brandy made themselves look like two of the worst-ever sore losers in TV history.

"I think there will be a point in the not so distant future we can get over the stupidity of today and just enjoy the richness of the experience," Carol said. "I'll translate that into first-grader language for Brent and Caite."

Meow.