Tutor troubled by gift card

Dear Annie: I recently began volunteering to tutor someone in the community, and I love it. However, at yesterday's session, my student gave me an envelope that contained a gift card for a fairly large amount of money.

I had previously told this student that I cannot be paid because it is volunteering and I do not want payment. But when he handed me the envelope, it seemed awkward to refuse it. In his culture, that would be considered rude.

He told me it was a gift between friends, but I feel so bad and dishonest about accepting it that I am extremely uncomfortable. Since he cannot return the gift card, is it acceptable for me to reciprocate at some point with a gift of equal value? I cannot conscientiously log the time with him as volunteer hours with this weighing on my mind. — Sick About It

Dear Sick: Do you have a supervisor who runs the tutoring program? If so, ask how you should handle the gift card. You might also consider using it for tutoring supplies — paper, pencils, books, etc. Under no circumstances should you get into a gift-reciprocation program, which not only might escalate into something expensive, but could give the impression that your relationship is something other than student and teacher.

Dear Annie: My mom and dad were together for 30 years and raised four children. Dad died suddenly at age 60 from an undetected heart problem. Mom was 52 and grieved terribly.

Four years after Dad passed away, Mom met a widower. They wanted to travel, but he felt they should get married first. After some time, she agreed.

My problem is, I have always viewed the marriage as a betrayal of my father and, to this day, have a problem accepting it. All of these people have passed away, including my mom, who died in December. Are my feelings justified? — Still Miss Him

Dear Still: You can't help how you feel, justified or not. But it was unreasonable and unfair to have expected your mother to remain alone forever in deference to your father's memory. When children grow up and move away, the remaining parent is left with an empty house and no one to share her life. Please forgive your mother for wanting to recapture the happiness she once had.

Dear Annie: I am responding to "Upset in Santa Cruz" about the unexplained bruises on a young boy. A reader suggested he could have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. He could also have leukemia. My sister had bruises all over her body. We thought her small dog had caused them, but later, to our dismay, we discovered she had an aggressive form of leukemia. — Kathy in Omaha

Dear Kathy: How terribly sad. Please know your warning will help others.

Dear Readers: An Irish blessing for St. Patrick's Day: May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.