From office pool to prison: Deseret News' aiding, abetting of watercooler gambling

Pardon us for aiding and abetting a crime.

The Deseret News, along with every other media outlet in the country, printed a bracket in Monday's edition to help our readers, ahem, follow the NCAA basketball tournament, if you get the way I've drifted.

It could also be used — and this probably didn't occur to you — for an office betting pool.

Yes, this came as a complete shock to me, too, and I was, of course, appalled.

So we apologize for the temptation. It could be interpreted as the equivalent of giving a teenager a fake ID and a map for spring-break parties.

Office pools, as you know, are criminal activity if money is involved. So at this point, I'm going to have to advise you to put down the bracket and back away slowly with your hands where I can see them.

No one should think that we are advocating gambling. On the other hand, if you are among the 35 MILLION AMERICANS WHO PARTICIPATE IN AN OFFICE POOL and can still sleep at night, then feel free to use our bracket to gamble away your kids' college fund and next week's groceries.

If your philosophy is safety in numbers, then this is for you. It's one of those illegal activities that everybody participates in, like speeding and jaywalking (and smoking dope, if you live in Colorado). As crimes go, it's not exactly living on the edge.

Especially when the president himself — Baracket Obama — filled out one last year (with maybe a small wager on the side — Rhode Island?). He picked only 19 of 32 winners correctly in the first round. You could do better by throwing darts blindfolded at a bracket. He picked AIG to win the whole thing.

Let's hope his predictions for health care reform and turning around the economy are better than 19 of 32.

Office pools are the one crime everyone looks the other way for, even bosses, it turns out. One study showed that 92 percent of the people who participate in office pools watch the games online at work. One expert said this could cost employers $1.8 billion in just the first week of the three-week tournament.

Fortunately, the United States is enjoying a great economy, and we can afford to sacrifice hours of productivity at the office in our free time now that we're not busy working on our fantasy football teams.

Or am I getting the United States confused with Qatar?

Some would call this an incredible waste of time. But my friend Gary Bowen isn't one of them. Gary, who is CEO of a local software company, is one of many executives who thinks office pools are "good for morale."

"It's just something fun to do, especially in business where things are a pressure cooker these days," he says. "It's a good way to have some fun around the office, get some officer banter and trash talk going, and it doesn't cost much."