Forget everything else: Having daylight after work is all that matters

I don't know what we've been thinking all these years. Daylight saving time is so wonderful. It's hard for me to figure out why our civilization didn't collapse from 1776 to 1918 when we didn't have it. But we aren't using all this "extra daylight" to our advantage. One hour of it just isn't enough. If the average person works from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., they only get about 4½ hours of this magical daylight after work at the peak of the summer.

I propose what I call "supersonic daylight saving time on steroids."

What we need to do is set our clocks ahead nine hours. This would create nine hours of after-work daylight in the winter and 12 additional daylight hours in the summer. With this new, improved and fortified daylight saving time, the sun would rise at 1:56 p.m. and set at 5:02 a.m.

Think of the endless possibilities. Our society will be so much more productive. Little Leaguers now only have until about 9:30 p.m. to play in the light, which they desperately need since there are no lights in any playing fields or parks. With supersonic daylight saving time, the leaguers could play, we could work in our yards and do all kinds of recreational activities until 5:30 a.m. We don't want trick-or-treaters to go out in the dark. After all, Halloween is all about daylight. Now trick-or-treaters could go out in the daylight until 2:25 a.m.

Outdoor barbecues? I have no idea how to turn on my energy-saving lights in my backyard, so we have to change our clocks. We could run even more businesses — like drive-in movie theaters — into bankruptcy. Outdoor pageants that don't start until a ridiculously late hour shouldn't happen anyway.

And how great it will be to wait until 6 a.m. to start the fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Who cares if schoolchildren will have to have recess in the dark? That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if the incidence of heart attacks and traffic accidents increase when we advance our clocks. Nothing matters except having daylight after work. Sunsets are devastating. I can't stand the romantic summer evenings. I'm so glad we never have them in Utah because by the time it gets dark in the summer, it's time to go to bed.

Some say American society is in decline, but all this additional daylight will not only save America but make it thrive again. We will once again find our place in the sun because we have the ultimate daylight-saving time.

And while our very "bright" Congress is legislating the time, it should also legislate the temperature.

We need a law to raise the temperature 10 degrees in the winter, then lower it in the summer.

Jack Duffy lives in West Jordan.