When will we see food as fuel and not an issue?

I have worked so hard to make sure we don't discuss weight in my house that I really didn't know how to handle the question when my daughter threw it at me.

"Mom, is it bad if I eat toast and a piece of chocolate chip pumpkin bread?"

It was one of those moments, I knew, that could have a lasting impact on my 15-year-old daughter. I never wanted my girls to see food as the enemy. I never wanted them to worry about what they weighed. And I never wanted them to view fitness in terms of a pant size.

So I had to think about my response.

"Well, I'm not sure what you're asking," I said. "If you're asking me, 'Is toast and pumpkin bread good for me?' The answer is no. There isn't a lot of nutritional value in that snack."

"But if you're asking me if you can eat toast and pumpkin bread," I continued. "You can eat what you want."

Then she said something that sounded a lot like something my sister used to say to me when we were discussing our weight. (Because that is, I admit, what teenage girls do — way too much.)

"Well I ran four miles today," she said. "I worked out."

I wanted to run, far away, to a world where what you eat doesn't matter. That wondrous place where working out doesn't determine what and how much you can eat. And where moms don't accidentally pass on their phobias to their daughters.

I took a deep breath and said what I know to be true, even if I can't live it every day.

"You shouldn't work out just so you can eat," I said. "Especially, if what you're eating is junk. You should eat good food because it is really what your body needs. It will serve you, whether you're running or sleeping."

She looked defeated, which is a look I try to avoid putting on the face of my children, regardless of the situation.

"But I want to eat toast — and pumpkin bread," she said. "I just want to."

Really? Why me? I want my kids to be happy. I want them to be healthy. I stopped buying everything I love — soda, potato chips, doughnuts, even Frosted Flakes — just so my kids would never develop the food cravings that I fight every day.

Knowledge is one thing. Acting on it, as we all know, is a completely different challenge.