Friends don't let friends drive while texting

Dear Girl Who Nearly Ran Me off the Road Last Week,

Yes. It's me again. The one driving the (hopefully-safe-although-now-we're-not-so-sure) green Toyota.

Remember me?

Oh. That's right.

You wouldn't. In fact, you have absolutely no idea who I am. You never did see me, did you?

You know why?

BECAUSE YOU WERE TEXTING!

Dollface, you were in the fast lane on northbound 1-15, doing at least 75 mph, and YOU WERE TEXTING!

Maybe you were texting because you were bored. Maybe you've made that drive between Salt Lake City and Layton so many times in your young life you could just SCREAM with bored-ness.

AAAAAAAAAGH!

I HATE THIS STINKING BORING DRIVE SO MUCH I DON'T WANT TO MARRY IT!

Or maybe some big huge important deal was going down at work and everyone needed your input RIGHT NOW! EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE DRIVING! ON THE FREEWAY! AT 75 MPH!

Or maybe you were having a fight with your BFF. Maybe you're just really, really sick of the way she always blows you off whenever some guy enters the picture.

Like, maybe the two of you were planning on a movie and then some random male she hardly even knows asks her to dinner and suddenly you're just last season's sweater, hanging on the REDUCED TO CLEAR rack.

Or maybe you've always been really, really excellent at multi-tasking. Maybe you were the kind of girl in high school who was a student body officer AND a drill team officer AND president of the French club AND a Sterling Scholar.

(And also did volunteer work and made all your own prom dresses on the side.)

Maybe because you've always been able to handle effectively a lot of things at the same time and also because you have super nimble, athletic thumbs, you figure you can drive AND text.

Or maybe I just caught you in a rare moment. Maybe you never EVER text while you drive. Or at least not very often. Just now and then.

And anyway you'll never ever, ever, ever, ever do it again after you send this one last majorly important text. …

OK. I don't know which of these scenarios best describes you.