Web sites cater to 'pro-anas'

Imagine a virtual world where mental illness is advocated as a "lifestyle choice." Where the daily quest is to see who can become sicker quicker. Where success is often measured by whether you require a feeding tube to survive.

If it sounds like science fiction, try again.

It's happening online right now, on hundreds of pro-anorexia, or "pro-ana" Web sites, dedicated to the deadly premise that the degree of starvation you attain is the measure of your worth as a person.

Really.

The Web sites feature photos of skeleton-like figures, accompanied by a statistical tally of how much weight was lost, how it was accomplished, how little food was consumed, how much food was thrown up or "purged" from their bony bodies.

Some sites include tips on how to hide the behavior from parents and friends, how to lie about food consumed, the best methods to induce purging and ever-present praise for "the biggest loser."

"You see those pictures of people (with anorexia) posted on the net. People use them as inspiration to be thin," says Shelly Guillroy, a young psychiatric nurse who is now in recovery. After being featured in the documentary "Thin," which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2005 and later aired on HBO, Guillory became something of a celebrity with the "pro-ana" crowd, who sought to communicate with her online.

"I feel so guilty that my picture still circulates around," the Web, she says. "Teens are looking at all this stuff and try to imitate what they see. … I did have to write to people and ask them to take my picture down."

One featured a shot of her stomach where a feeding tube had been surgically inserted to keep her from starving to death. "That's what some anorexics aspire to."

"I thought that for the longest time," says Andrea Olson. The two women have become friends in their quest for recovery. "I thought when I got a tube, I'd really accomplished something. Then I started to be embarrassed about it. I was going to college with a tube up my nose."

As they both look back, it's a feeling not only of remorse, but of lost opportunity. "I feel very guilty about the time I spent on those Web sites," says Olson, noting it was "sometimes 12 hours a day. … It's hard for me to even talk about."

After years of increasing resistance to food, both women say one thing that haunts them more than most is their previous online cheerleading for people who were as sick as they were.