Grown-up dog owners say the darndest things

Grown-ups say the darndest things.

Recently, I had the opportunity to speak with a director of one our nation's many humane societies. I asked him what single factor more than any other drives people's decision to abandon their dogs to a shelter. He said, unequivocally: behavioral problems.

Then I asked him what he tells the people who want to adopt these troublemakers. He said, without flinching: I tell them the dog needs training.

I then advised him to take his own advice.

You see, he had called me because his 6-year-old Great Dane had been growling at his wife of three years and finally bit her in the face. When I asked him what took him so long to seek help, he said the darndest thing: "He doesn't do it all the time!"

Another grown-up, this one female, called to inquire about her dog, who has bitten several of her family members and friends. I warned her that she's going to get sued eventually, and she, too, said the darndest thing: "Not if he only bites my family and friends!"

A woman who runs a rescue later called regarding someone who had returned a dog because it bit her. She wondered what went wrong. "Did the dog have a history of aggression," I asked, to which that rescue worker replied: "Yes, but the woman said she's good with dogs!"

I've never met a dog lover who didn't think they were good with dogs.

The man with the 6-year-old 125-pound Rotweiller that growls at his kids believes he has a special touch with the canine crowd. "I taught him to sit and come. And whenever he growls, I say, 'Bad dog. No.'"

I asked, "Does he stop?"

I think we all know the answer.

People with smaller problems are even less likely to cry uncle. It's too late to become a veterinarian, so instead they imagine themselves dog trainers. These folks call to complain that their dog barks at the mailman or at the phone, or that he chews the furniture or urinates on the carpet. They don't want to pay for training. They just need "a quick tip."

For the truly diligent among them, a tip might do the trick. For most people, though, especially those whose dogs display aggressive tendencies, a quick tip isn't going to cut it. As the director of the humane society said: These dogs need training. Even then, sometimes all the gold in Fort Knox can't fund enough training to make an aggressive dog safe company for kids.