THE BANK JOB — ** — Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, David Suchet; rated R (profanity, violence, nudity, sex, torture, drugs, vulgarity, brief gore, slurs)

If the makers of "The Bank Job" had put as much effort into developing the characters and trying to generate some suspense as they did into exploring the story's sleazier aspects, they really might have had something.

Instead, it becomes a bad-taste caper thriller that's filled with unpleasant, unlikable characters. Ultimately, we're not really interested in seeing whether there are any happy endings for any of these people.

What makes the film even more disappointing is that this "Bank Job" is allegedly based on a true story, an early-1970s scandal that involved British royalty.

According to this version of events, a revolutionary named Michael X (Peter De Jersey) had blackmail photos of one of the royals, which were held in a supposedly secure London bank vault.

Rather than risking public exposure, the British government decides that it needs someone to steal those photos from the vault. The unlikely, civilian "patsy" is Terry Leather (Jason Statham), who's been running a shady car-repair business.

Terry is suspicious when a childhood friend, Martine Love (Saffron Burrows), shows up at his business and claims that she knows of an easy "score" — robbing this bank, though she leaves out the blackmail photo part.

However, Terry has also run up some substantial debts and is desperate, so he agrees to the scheme.

The script, which comes courtesy of screenwriting team Dick Clement and Ian Le Frenais ("Across the Universe"), is convoluted and a little confusing. There's also a subplot about a porn king and mobster (played by David Suchet), who's after the photos as well.

If veteran director Roger Donaldson ("The World's Fastest Indian") can't make sense of it, how can we? It's no wonder the cast seems a bit confused as well.

"The Bank Job" is rated R for strong sexual language (profanity, crude slang terms and other explicit sex talk), strong scenes of violent action (shootings, stabbings, beatings, strangulation and some violence against women), female and partial male nudity, simulated sex and other sexual contact, a scene of torture, marijuana use and references, brief gore, and racial and other derogatory slurs. Running time: 110 minutes.

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E-mail: jeff@desnews.com