Stay Alive

STAY ALIVE — * — Frankie Muniz, Samaire Armstrong, Sophia Bush; PG-13 (violence, profanity, brief sex, brief drugs); Carmike 12 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16 (Sandy); Century Theatres 16 (South Salt Lake); Cinemark 24 at Jordan Landing; Megaplex 12 at the Gateway; Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons; Red Carpet Gateway 8 Cinemas.

The deep, dark conspiratorial message at the bottom of "The Ring" was, for those who missed it — "Don't copy videotapes. They'll kill you."

It fit in nicely with the movie industry's whole "Don't copy — that's stealing" campaign.

And the hidden message in this week's dose of horror, "Stay Alive"?

"Go to movies. Don't play video games. They'll kill you."

As if 100 million game addicts can be "cured" by a mere horror movie.

"Stay Alive" is about a ghostly video game that sucks you in and kills you. First, you die onscreen. Then, you meet your fate the same way off-screen.

Attractive 20-ishes — Sophia Bush, Frankie Muniz, Jon Foster, Jimmi Simpson, Samaire Armstrong — get their hands on some unlicensed game. They ignore the fact that a trio of folks we don't even meet in the opening scene have been killed. They play. And they go, one by one, to their Final Destination.

Rule No. 1 for a scary movie: Be scary. Director co-screenwriter William Brent Bell has a spooky New Orleans (pre-Katrina) setting, creepy, spectral presences and gruesome, too-young deaths. And he can't make them the least bit frightening.

Rule No. 2: Make us care for and suffer with your cast. Here, we just watch and wait for them to buy the farm. Or in this case, the plantation.

Not one character makes anything more than the thinnest impression. Foster, in particular, is just dreadful. How hard is it to say, "I can't believe this is happening," over and over, with conviction?

Pretty darned hard, apparently.

"Stay Alive" is rated PG-13 for horror violence, disturbing images, language, brief sexual and drug content. Running time: 85 minutes.