Transporter 2

TRANSPORTER 2 — * — Jason Statham, Alessandro Gassman, Matthew Modine; rated PG-13 (violence, sex, partial nudity, profanity).

The world's baddest mailman is back and going postal on everyone in his way, including viewers suffering through the insufferable "Transporter 2."

This laughably awful sequel with Jason Statham returning as the crackerjack, no-questions-asked driver for hire is a pathetic affair riffing on some of the high points that made 2002's "The Transporter" a sleeper action hit.

The first movie was no great prize, yet it looks like "The French Connection" compared to the follow-up, an inanely plotted tale packed with preposterous action scenes and cheapo effects.

Luc Besson again produces and co-writes, with protege Louis Leterrier directing. Leterrier delivered a decent action tale for Besson with Jet Li's "Unleashed," a film offering a fresh story and unusual characters.

On "Transporter 2," they're working with stale leftovers and an agenda that clearly puts squeezing a few more dollars out of the franchise first, making a good movie second.

This time, ex-Special Forces killing machine Frank Martin (Statham) has moved from the French Riviera to Miami and taken a break from the demands of high-speed delivery jobs punctuated by bullets and fists.

Frank is living the quiet life as chauffeur to 6-year-old Jack Billings (Hunter Clary), a rich kid with whom, of course, the former mercenary has forged a bond (the ace transporter never seems able to follow his own rules about not getting involved with his "packages").

Then, of course, the boy is kidnapped, forcing Frank to resume his fightin' ways to rescue his little buddy.

Frank soon learns bad guy Gianni (blandly played by Alessandro Gassman) has snatched the boy as part of a plot connected to Jack's dad, Jefferson Billings (Matthew Modine), the new boss of the U.S. war on drugs who's about to lead an international gathering of narcotics agents and bureaucrats.

The filmmakers throw in an undercooked flirtation between Frank and Jack's mom (Amber Valletta), who is going through a painful separation from her husband.

Frank also gets physical in a violent way with Gianni's henchwoman Lola (wafer-thin model Kate Nauta), a psycho-skank in slutty clothes and short blond hair who looks like the underfed love child of David Bowie and Brigitte Nielsen.

In a movie brimming with bad performances, Nauta — for whom Besson takes credit for "discovering" — leads the cast for lousy acting.