SUPERCROSS: THE MOVIE — * 1/2 — Steve Howey, Mike Vogel, Cameron Richardson; rated PG-13 (profanity, violence, brief sex, vulgarity); Carmike 12 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark 24 at Jordan Landing; Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons; Redwood Drive-in.

"Supercross: The Movie" is a lot less exciting than watching the sport in person or on television.

In fact, it's a lot less exciting than watching grass grow or paint dry.

This insipid motor sports drama is not only shockingly inept in terms of storytelling, it's also one of the cheapest looking movies in recent memory. It appears the whole thing was shot on damaged film stock, or film left over from other productions.

The only real surprise here is that a major studio, Fox, would even release this nonsense.

Sitcom actors Steve Howey (the WB's "Reba") and Mike Vogel (Fox's canceled "Grounded for Life") star as brothers KC and Trip Carlyle, swimming-pool cleaners with aspirations of becoming motocross racers.

The older and more mature KC gets his big break when he's spotted by Clay Sparks (Robert Carradine), a racing-team owner whose son is up-and-coming racer Rowdy Sparks (Channing Tatum). Clay signs KC to his team, hoping he'll become Rowdy's "wingman" and help his son win circuit races.

Unfortunately, that puts KC at odds with his hot-headed brother. Trip becomes involved with Piper Cole (Cameron Richardson), whose father, Earl (Robert Patrick), agrees to support Trip's racing efforts.

Naturally, the close-knit brothers find themselves racing against each other.

The plot is strictly by the numbers, and journeymen writers Ken Solarz and Bart Baker's script features such howlingly bad lines as "I'm gonna show them how the big dog eats."

Director Steve Boyum should have been banned from filmmaking before he could even make this clunker, considering he was responsible for 1998's "Meet the Deedles."

It's not like the cast is any help, however. Howey has not only appropriated Ben Affleck's facial-scruff-and-goatee look, he also appears to be aping some of his more wooden acting techniques.

As for Richardson (from another canceled Fox show, "Point Pleasant"), her performance would need improvement just to rank as amateur.

On the other hand, Sophia Bush, from UPN's "One Tree Hill," does manage to escape unscathed; her role is thankfully small.

"Supercross: The Movie" is rated PG-13 for occasional use of strong profanity, sports-related violence (vehicular crashes and collisions), a brief sex scene and some other sexual contact, and use of a few vulgar slang terms. Running time: 92 minutes.

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E-mail: jeff@desnews.com