MINDHUNTERS — * 1/2 — Kathryn Morris, LL Cool J, Jonny Lee Miller; rated R (violence, gore, profanity, drugs, brief sex, brief nudity); see Page W2 for theaters.

When a film features as many laugh-out-loud moments as "Mindhunters," you expect it to be a comedy, not the suspense-thriller that this one pretends to be.

Obviously, most of those laughs are unintentional, as this film is played pretty straight-faced and is obviously trying to elicit thrills and chills. But it's just so ludicrous, so completely unbelievable, that you can't help but snicker — if not outright howl.

The film has been delayed for quite some time now, having sat on the distributors' shelf for nearly three years. Why the studio chose to release it now, when it's sure to get lost in the summer rush, is anyone's guess.

Presumably, the title refers to seven would-be FBI profilers (Eion Bailey, Clifton Collins Jr., Will Kemp, Jonny Lee Miller, Kathryn Morris, Christian Slater and Patricia Velazquez).

Their mentor, Jake Harris (Val Kilmer), hasn't been impressed by their efforts so far, so he sends them to a remote island for a supposedly routine training exercise. But they find they've been targeted by a killer who starts knocking them off one by one — and in particularly gruesome fashion. At first, they're thinking it's something cooked up by Jake, but as the bodies start to pile up, suspicion falls on Gabe Jensen (LL Cool J), a detective who's there to observe their progress.

Director Renny Harlin and screenwriter Wayne Kramer seem to delight in killing off these one-note characters, using devices that would make Rube Goldberg proud — or frightened. (There wasn't this much planning done by Kevin Spacey's serial killer character in "Se7en.")

Would that as much effort went into the performances. Morris (TV's "Cold Case") barely registers, though she's supposedly the lead character, and when characters are killed off, the actors look relieved.

"Mindhunters" is rated R for strong scenes of violence (including some shootings, violence against women, a decapitation and some explosive mayhem), some fairly graphic gore, occasional use of strong sexual profanity, some drug content (use of tranquilizers as well as hypodermic needles), a brief sex scene, and some brief male nudity. Running time: 105 minutes.

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