Rather than a knock-off of the "Spy Kids" movies — which is how the film is portrayed in trailers — "Catch That Kid" is actually a remake of "Klatretosen," a Danish hit that few, if any, U.S. audiences have seen.

However, this version is painfully slow in its Americanization, so that it's unlikely to encourage anyone to see the original. Actually, most may feel that way about this surprisingly lowbrow and hopelessly contrived remake.

As silly as "Catch That Kid" is, it's not silly in the right way — the type of silliness that might appeal to the obvious target audience.

The film also appears to be sending a message that crime does pay, making it troubling and irresponsible for young audiences.

The lead character is also rather irresponsible, 12-year-old climbing enthusiast Madeline "Maddy" Phillips (Kristen Stewart). Maddy's father (Sam Robards) was injured with a spinal-cord injury in a fall years before, and he has been warning her about the risks of climbing.

Now, that spinal-cord injury has come back to haunt him, threatening to lead to permanent paralysis. The only hope is to undergo expensive experimental surgery. Unfortunately, the family's insurance won't pay for it, and no banks will give them a large enough loan.

So Maddy plans to steal the money from a bank with a high-tech security system, which was designed by her mother (Jennifer Beals), and which — wouldn't you know — features an elevated vault. To pull off the heist, she'll need help. So Maddy's best friends, Gus (Max Thieriot) and Austin (Corbin Bleu), agree to provide elbow grease and the know-how.

None of these preteens' high jinks are remotely interesting or amusing, and it doesn't help that "Catch That Kid" was directed by Bart Freundlich, an indie filmmaker whose dramas have been talky and dull — as is this alleged comedy.

The cast also seems pretty uninterested. Stewart, who impressed in "Panic Room," is simply going through the motions. And both Beals and Robards seem relieved that their screen time is limited.

Meanwhile, supporting cast members James Le Gros and John Carroll Lynch try to improve things by clowning around, but their efforts are more cringe-inducing that knee-slapping.

"Catch That Kid" is rated PG for violence, some crude humor (flatulence) and use of a handful of profanities. Running time: 92 minutes.

---

E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com