Movie critics are a bit too fond of describing films like "Masked and Anonymous" as "train wrecks." There's nothing even remotely funny about calamitous rail disasters.

But, come to think of it, there's nothing all that funny about films like this one, either.

"Masked and Anonymous" is a nonsensical vanity project for singer Bob Dylan that wastes the talents of a lot of folks who should have known better. It's really not worth your time to try and decipher this supposedly allegorical musical satire, which was co-written by Dylan and director Larry Charles (under the nom de plumes Rene Fontaine and Sergei Petrov).

About the only thing that makes the film worth a look is a handful of musical performances by Dylan. And that's only for fans, though even they may be embarrassed by his painfully stiff performance here.

Dylan stars as Jack Fate, a once-famous-now-forgotten musician who's been sprung from jail to play in a benefit concert being organized by Uncle Sweetheart (John Goodman), his former manager. But the unscrupulous huckster has more than one reason for wanting Jack to play at the concert, as does his partner in crime, TV producer Nina Veronica (Jessica Lange, vamping like she never has before). There are several people, however, who seem intent on keeping the concert from happening, including Tom Friend (Jeff Bridges), a journalist who seems to hold a grudge against Jack.

That recap actually makes the plot seem more lucid than it is. And the only time this picture ever comes to life is during the all-too-brief musical performances, which makes you wonder why Charles and Dylan didn't just make a concert film.

Perhaps that's why the cast (including Dylan) seems confused and bored. And the supposedly humorous supporting roles and cameos — by Ed Harris (who appears in blackface at one point!), Fred Ward, Cheech Marin and Val Kilmer — aren't even perversely watchable.

"Masked and Anonymous" is rated PG-13 for violence (including a particularly vicious beating), scattered use of profanity (including one usage of the so-called "R-rated" curse word), a brief sex scene and use of some crude slang terms. Running time: 107 minutes.

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