It's possible that even devotees of professional wrestling and "The Fast and the Furious" may not enjoy "Rollerball." Neither of those fanbases is particularly discriminating, but even for their lowered entertainment standards this remake will likely disappoint.

Granted, the film upon which "Rollerball" is based — the 1974 science-fiction thriller starring James Caan — isn't cinematic art to begin with. But this re-do is so dumb and so exploitative in its violence that, ironically, it becomes everything that the rather clumsy original was railing against. (In fact, the film's violence is so brutal that this version probably should have retained its R rating, which it originally received from the MPAA before the studio imposed re-shoots and re-cuts to get a PG-13.)

Replacing Caan in this version is stonefaced Chris Klein, who stars as Jonathan Cross, a pro hockey prospect with a taste for "extreme" — as in, illegal — sports. And that lands him in trouble with the law.

Subsequently, he quickly finds himself in Europe, where he becomes the star of Rollerball, a renegade, televised sport that combines all the worst aspects of the WWF, roller derby and indoor motocross. It's also extremely dangerous and is about to get worse. League owner Petrovich (Jean Reno) is hungry for ratings, so he quickly ups the violence level, with deadly results for the players.

With help from with his best friend and teammate Ridley (LL Cool J), along with another player (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), Jonathan tries to quit — though Petrovich may not allow him to.

As humiliating as the film is for all involved, it's even worse for John McTiernan, the once-proud director of such blockbusters as "Die Hard" and "The Hunt for Red October." Frankly, this is hackwork that shows little signs of talent — in particular, the action is so chaotic that it's difficult to tell what's going on. (And there's also a protracted chase scene shot with a green filter for no good reason.)

Not that the cast is any help. Klein isn't even remotely believable as the tough guy his character becomes, and it's surprising that Reno didn't gain any weight from all of his scenery chewing.

"Rollerball" is rated PG-13 for fairly graphic violence (bludgeonings, gunfire and explosive mayhem), occasional use of strong profanity (including the so-called, "R-rated" curseword), crude sexual banter, gore, glimpses of partial female nudity and nude paintings, and a brief scene sex. Running time: 98 minutes.

---

E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com