Captain Corelli's Mandolin

If you overlook the revisionist version of history it presents, the hilariously inept attempts to portray realistic accents and a lack of romantic chemistry between the two leads, "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" isn't a bad little movie.

But it's not really a good one either. This superficial World War II-era romance (based on Louis de Bernieres' best-selling novel) is a textbook example of how a seemingly "can't-miss" prospect can go horribly awry, even with a first-rate cast and crew.

The only thing that saves the film from being a complete disaster is director John Madden (1999's Oscar-winning "Shakespeare in Love"), who is determined to play it out with as much cheeky humor as possible.

(Even that was something of a squabble. The studios allegedly were very involved with the production and were displeased with Madden's work, even forcing him to reshoot the ending after an early version of the movie tested badly with audiences.)

As far as the film's title is concerned, it refers to Italian artillery officer, Antonio Corelli (Nicolas Cage), who has just been posted with troops occupying the Greek island of Cephallonia.

It's something of a "friendly occupation," as the captain and his men try to pacify the locals. But as you might have guessed, the villagers, especially Pelagia (Penelope Cruz), the daughter of the local doctor (John Hurt), are suspicious of the soldiers,

So she's horrified when Corelli is billeted in their tiny mountainside home — especially since she's engaged to a local fisherman (Christian Bale), who's leading a band of freedom fighters against the Italian army.

But to her surprise, she finds herself falling under the sway of the mandolin-playing, opera-loving soldier. That, in turn, leaves her confused as to whom she really loves: the Greek rebel or the invading army officer.

As good an idea as it is to play things with a light touch (light by the standards of the genre, anyway), it would have been even smarter for Madden to insist that his cast drop the accents altogether.

Cage almost sounds like he's trying to do a Chico Marx impression, while the lispy Spaniard Cruz's dialogue sounds nothing like Greek (nor for that matter, does that of Brit co-stars Hurt and Bale, though somehow they escape more or less unscathed).

Worse, the silly central romance seems every bit as forced and unconvincing as the rest of the film's contrived plot.

"Captain Corelli's Mandolin" is rated R for wartime violence and gore (involving shootings and explosions), male partial and female nudity, scattered use of strong profanity and a brief scene of simulated sex. Running time: 125 minutes.

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E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com