JOE DIRT — * — David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, Christopher Walken, Kid Rock; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, profanity, violence, sex, brief partial nudity); Carmike 12 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Jordan Landing Theaters; Loews Cineplex Broadway Centre and Midvalley Cinemas; Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons; Westates Trolley North Theaters.

"Joe Dirt" would desperately like to live down to that adage about being "dumb as dirt." But frankly, it's too stupid to even be that calculated.

Not that it should come as a complete surprise, considering this unfunny comedy is a vehicle for alleged comedian David Spade, who wore out his welcome, oh, about 10 years ago.

Nevertheless, the film affords him every opportunity to act dim in the title role, playing a thirtysomething janitor in search of his long-lost parents, who left him while visiting the Grand Canyon.

As the film opens, Joe is heard telling his tale to a radio "shock jock" (Dennis Miller), who mocks him as he speaks of his failed attempts to find his folks — and of his former sweetheart (Brittany Daniel), who appears to have thrown him over for his most hated enemy (musician Kid Rock).

It's not worth going into this nonsense in any more depth; suffice to say that Spade is largely to blame — after all, he co-wrote the script himself.

And while Spade might not seem to care about the film's quality — or lack thereof — his co-stars, Miller and Christopher Walken, look thoroughly embarrassed, although they're not the only ones slumming here. (Others unfortunate enough to be associated with the film include Rosanna Arquette and poor Erik Per Sullivan, from TV's "Malcolm in the Middle.")

"Joe Dirt" is rated PG-13 for crude humor (including sexual and scatological gags), scattered profanity, violence (mostly slapstick), simulated sex (overheard) and brief partial male nudity. Running time: 93 minutes.

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