No matter what movie he's in, Keanu Reeves is always Ted from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure."

In "The Matrix," he was Computer Hacker Ted. Earlier this summer in "The Replacements," he was Quarterback Ted (which actually was a good fit).

Now, in his latest film "The Watcher," we are asked to suspend all disbelief and accept Reeves as Serial Killer Ted. This is simply impossible for a number of reasons.

First, there's his surfer-dude line delivery. Second, even with stringy hair, he's just too attractive to be a homicidal movie maniac. Christian Bale, another handsome guy, played the title role this year in "American Psycho," but everything about his look changed when he went on killing sprees. Reeves smiles that goofy smile no matter what he's doing.

And then there's the teeny problem of character development. Screenwriters David Elliot and Clay Ayers never explain why Reeves' character kills — or anything else about his life. He apparently has no job, but somehow he can afford to dress in black leather and has all day to torment the FBI and stalk his female victims.

Reeves plays a serial killer named David Griffin who targets lonely young women in Chicago. He moved there because it's the new home of Joel Campbell (James Spader), the former FBI agent who was tailing him in Los Angeles.

Campbell gave up on the case a few years earlier, after Griffin killed Campbell's girlfriend. Any other FBI agent might want revenge. But Campbell would rather wallow in a small, messy apartment with only mayonnaise and an orange in the refrigerator, popping pills and waking from nightmares in a cold sweat.

Griffin keeps killing, though, to draw Campbell back into the game. The closest we come to understanding this dynamic is when Griffin philosophizes toward the end, "We need each other. We define each other. We're yin and yang."

Whoa, that's deep.

Griffin also drags Campbell's therapist (Marisa Tomei) into the fray. Tomei doesn't get to do much here — she listens and nods sympathetically during therapy sessions, cries and screams when Griffin tries to kill her. It's hardly the material that earned her a best supporting-actress Oscar for 1992's "My Cousin Vinny."

Spader, meanwhile, does the best he can with the role, a rare chance for him to play the good guy when he usually plays the sleaze.

Admittedly, there are a couple of interesting ideas here. Griffin chooses a victim, snaps a picture of her and then sends it to Campbell, who must figure out her identity and find her by 9 p.m., or she dies. This threat sends the FBI on a frenzied, maddening search. OK, that's a creative twist.

But first-time director Joe Charbanic seems to have watched too many music videos. He's quite fond of staccato editing, dizzying verite camera work and dreamy, slow-motion flashback sequences. A little plain old storytelling wouldn't have hurt.

He also relies too heavily on cliche sound effects to create cheap scares.

"The Watcher" is rated R for violence (killings and gunplay) and occasional strong profanity. Running time: 93 minutes.