Just a piece of friendly advice to Kevin Williamson: Don't quit your day job.

As a screenwriter, Williamson has won critical plaudits and box-office gold for the "Scream" films, and the television series he created, "Dawson's Creek," has been similarly successful.

However, it would be a real stretch to say his directorial debut, "Teaching Mrs. Tingle," is anything but a spectacular failure. As a dark comedy-thriller, it's not very thrilling or funny. And for a man who prides himself on subtlety and "cliche-busting" dialogue, the film is incredibly heavy-handed and cliche-ridden.

And no matter how far distanced it is from the Columbine High School shootings (the film's release was delayed and its title changed from "Killing Mrs. Tingle"), the material still seems to be in extremely poor taste.

In fact, if not for a pair of standout performances from Helen Mirren and relative newcomer Marisa Coughlan, the film would be completely insufferable.

Mirren stars as the title character, a tough-as-nails high school history teacher who has been very hard on her students, especially Leigh Ann Watson ("Dawson's Creek" star Katie Holmes), a hard-working scholar hoping to get a college scholarship.

Thanks to Tingle's harsh grading policies, it looks like Leigh Ann is going to lose out to spoiled rich girl Trudie Tucker (Liz Stauber), who's also in the running for class valedictorian.

That's when fate (if not temptation) interferes in the person of Luke Churner (Barry Watson), a hunky slacker who has copied Tingle's history final and offers it Leigh Ann at no cost. And though Leigh Ann turns down his offer, Tingle busts her with the stolen exam and threatens to spill the beans.

In desperation, Luke, Leigh Ann and fellow classmate Jo Lynn Jordan (Coughlan) try to explain the truth to their teacher — but to not avail. Worse, the confrontation turns physical, and they wind up tying Tingle to her bed, making her a prisoner in her own home.

It's actually not a bad premise, but Williamson's plotting quickly goes awry, including setting up a messy romantic triangle between the teens and an awful final third that almost seems improvised. His direction is equally clumsy.

A series of uneven performances certainly doesn't help. Surprisingly, the usually reliable Holmes seems to be sleepwalking through her role, while Watson (from TV's "7th Heaven") barely registers at all.

But as wannabe actress Jo Lynn, Coughlan is a delight. She and Mirren almost manage to breathe some life into this stiff — particularly during scenes that feature only their characters.

"Teaching Mrs. Tingle" is rated PG-13 for profanity (including the so-called "R-rated" curse word), a particularly violent catfight, as well as some crossbow fire, sex (overheard) and some vulgar sexual talk.