Idle Hands

The topic for the day: "Idle Hands" is supposed to be a horror-comedy film, but it's neither scary nor funny, and it's not much of a film. Discuss.

Sorry to borrow someone else's shtick (specifically, a Mike Myers "Saturday Night Live" bit, in case you've forgotten).

But that's all this piece of hack work does, borrow from other, much-better films (including the second of the "Evil Dead" trilogy and "An American Werewolf in London").

However, it's not even good at that, and the level of humor here is too stupid to be considered lowbrow. It's also too sickening to be called merely gruesome.

If that's not bad enough, the filmmakers can't decide on a consistent tone. Is "Idle Hands" meant strictly for laughs? Or is it supposed to be frightening? Director Rodman Flender doesn't seem to know, and most audiences won't be sure how to interpret it either.

The movie stars Devon Sawa ("SLC Punk!") as Anton, a high school slacker so lazy he doesn't even notice his parents are missing (murdered, actually) until he runs out of food.

The dimwitted teen is also oblivious to the fact that his right hand has gone on a killing spree after being possessed by an ancient evil. It even forces Anton to kill his best friends, stoners Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson), who subsequently return as his undead "advisers."

Having an "evil" hand isn't a completely terrible experience for Anton, though — it does force him to finally talk to Molly (Jessica Alba), a pretty neighbor he has a crush on. But it also makes him a target for an occult expert (Vivica A. Fox) who's been hunting the demon for years.

Actually, this recap makes the film's plot seem more coherent than it is. Though the screenplay is credited to two writers, the story is so stupefying and nonsensical that the cast members seem to be making it up as they go — except that they probably could have come up with better material.

However, it's not completely laugh-free. There are a few chuckles, mostly due to Green's and Henson's one-liners. But Sawa is too irritating to sympathize with, and the female cast members are incredibly wooden.

Of course, Alba's not in the film for her performance anyway (cinematographer Christopher Baffa's camera practically ogles the teenage co-star, who's dressed in extremely skimpy outfits).

"Idle Hands" is rated R for violent hand attacks and other gimmicky deaths, considerable gore and disgusting makeup effects, simulated drug use (marijuana), sexually related humor and crude slang, profanity, female nudity and simulated sex acts.