THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS — ** 1/2 — Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, John Cleese, Mark McKinney, Daniel Parker, Oliver Hudson, Gregory Jbara; remake of the 1970 film; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, sex, profanity, drug use, violence); Carmike 12, Creekside Center, Plaza 5400 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Sandy Movies 9; Gateway 8 Cinemas; Loews Cineplex Crossroads Plaza Cinemas; Reel Theaters.

Ideas that sound great on paper don't always turn out that way, and unfortunately, "The Out-of-Towners" is a disappointing example.

However, you can't really blame the filmmakers for coming up with this screwball remake of the 1970 Neil Simon comedy (with some very '90s sensibilities). After all, it is nice to see "Housesitter" stars Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn reunited on-screen.

But if not for the obvious comic chemistry between the two principals, as well as a scene-stealing performance by former Monty Pythoner John Cleese, "The Out-of-Towners" might be truly awful. As it is, the movie settles for being slight and trifling.

It doesn't help that so much of the humor is sexually derived and that — even under 90 minutes — the material feels ridiculously padded.

Martin and Hawn star as Henry and Nancy Clark, a middle-aged Midwestern couple whose 27-year marriage is lacking sparks. With their children grown, the two are having a hard time communicating — though it's not for lack of effort on Nancy's part.

So, when Henry heads to New York for an all-important job interview (he's been fired and is reluctant to tell Nancy), she decides to go with him on the trip. But things start to go wrong while they're still in the air.

First, the airport is fogged in, and their flight is diverted to Boston. Then, they miss the last train headed to the Big Apple for the night.

If that isn't bad enough, when the couple finally arrives in New York, they're mugged and left without money. Worse still, the snooty hotel manager (Cleese) refuses to give them a room, so they're left homeless and broke.

And, of course, this is when they decide to start hashing out their differences.

Admittedly, the original screenplay wasn't even one of Simon's best efforts. But Marc Lawrence's updated script is little more than a series of uneven comic vignettes, with a few attempts at character development strung in-between.

Also, director Sam Weisman's pacing is a little too forced and frantic, which is made even more glaring by Mark Shaiman's awful score.

Yet, there's no denying that Martin and Hawn are appealing together, and Cleese makes so much of his brief screen time that he's a real standout.

"The Out-of-Towners" is rated PG-13 for vulgar sexual humor and sex talk, brief simulated sex, profanity, simulated drug use (hallucinogenics) and slapstick violence.